Looking through the treasures of the day:
What to offer?
What will be of value?
The weather report's a staple--bread and butter, at least;
Complaints about health--
my health
her health
his health
their health
our health--
Rarely preferred
Always allowed
Sometimes latched onto: a bargain.
We'll take these to-go;
Too little to talk for hours.
An anecdote's ok
Sometimes worth a smile,
Less frequently a belly-laugh.
Dare I bring out a real
treasure lest my gold
prove me a fool
in our eyes?
Silent we stand evaluating
Exhausted in our bartering.
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8 comments:
this one takes more than one reading to properly mull over.
far more than one reading. I still don't get it. were you trying to do one of those free verses that makes no sense?
Of course not. The poem is about how we great each other. How, so many times, we try to figure out how much to tell someone when they ask, "Hi, how are you?". Most of the time we just respond with some funny quip that doesn't really summ up the whole of what we feel, but we couldn't tell them everything, because it costs too much (either of ourselves which we guard, or time which we might not have) so we settle, calling it a bargain.
h,
yeah, I'll admit that this one is rather obscure (can I write anything other than free verse?) it's obscurity has made people's reactions very interesting and helped me to see what I really was communicating through it I've had a few different ones but in the general ballpark of what walljm said. what did you think about when you read it? (besides "huh?)
jm,
thanks for mulling it over =)
i read it twice...but i got it! i thought it was deep and made you think...but that is the point right...it wasn't the weather or health it was a glimpse into what lines beyond an honest thought that lies deeper beneath....
i totally think it worked!
della rose,
I wish I could talk it over with you and get more than just your first impressions (or second ones, as the case may be) thanks for taking the time to try to figure it out (and to succeed, of course)
"Dare I bring out a real
treasure lest my gold
prove me a fool
in our eyes?"
You're good, Joy. Very good. Methinks it describes the hallway in between services at our church.
Thanks, once again, for posting.
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